So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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