Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
