it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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