Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Quick, to the slutcave!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
