All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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