My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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