there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
