btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
