Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you will always have a special place in my vag
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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