I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
