So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
