White coat. Heels.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
