Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
