He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
