Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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