New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
