last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
