Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
