I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
