I faked an abortion last night.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
