Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
