I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
