I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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