Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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