shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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