Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
