K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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