We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
