I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When are your genitals available?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
