Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
