direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
