But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
