3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
