Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
