It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
