would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
