I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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