this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
