Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
