at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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