U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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