My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
