i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
