Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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