I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
