But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
