That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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