The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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