I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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