I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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