you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
